Daniel Dessinger

Evidence of my Poetic Roots

Posted on 26. Feb, 2010 by Daniel Dessinger.

I was leafing through a journal from 2005 and saw this entry:

I am a poet at heart. I long to make my pages sing of beauty, divinity, and human achings. I wish for my words to be breathed upon and made a living document – a Pinnochio of poetry.

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Behavioral Changes Don’t Equal Intimacy

Posted on 19. Nov, 2009 by Daniel.

I’ve written twice this week about the content I focus on, whether it be television, radio, music, news, books, blogs, and tweets. It’s very true that the content we absorb and constantly wash our minds with determines the inclination of our emotions, beliefs, and thoughts. All that information takes up residence in our memories and must be housed. Contrary to popular belief, the mind does not lose or discard “irrelevant” information. That information is simply stored differently.

It’s possible, however, to only pour “godly” or “Christian” content into your eyes and ears and still be far away from God.

He is always present, but your heart’s orientation can still be far from Him. I don’t want anyone to have read this week’s posts and think that all they must do is stop pouring junk into their minds. That is an important step, but it is not the step that ultimately leads us into intimacy with the Father.

We must each have the desire to pursue Him. A clean and swept house that is not filled will eventually be darker than it was previously. This is not something to fear, but a truth to respect and believe. If you’re coming out of a deep dark hole and you think behavioral changes will keep you safe, you have been misinformed.

Most God dealings are shrouded in mystery. Let’s go ahead and acknowledge that and get it out of the way. There is no PERFECT explanation for how most things happen to draw us closer to God in intimacy. We see in part, for certain.

Somewhere in these mysterious dealings with our Father, I am drawn. Slight hungers and thirsts deep in my core. In the pit of my stomach or breadbox area. I long for Him. I feel the draw. It’s not always there. But when it is, I have more faith to draw near. For the briefest moment, my heart is not completely numb toward Him. And if I pay attention and honor that moment as a pivotal point in my life, I respond to the Father with an open emotional posture. I ask Him to come. I tell Him I long for Him. I tell Him I love him. I let myself cry when necessary to maintain the posture of longing that begins to swell in my being.

And I know He is pleased. He already accepts me fully. But He is pleased by the moments I choose to nurture that longing and cause it to swell within me. It is the faintest romance. But it is where I start. It is where I am.

I am not intimate or close to God because I set pop culture aside. I am intimate because I am sensitive and attentive to my own spirit and when I sense that a moment has come, I love on Him a little. I cast my cares at His feet. I let it all hang out and just BE near Him.

He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Come. Let us seek Him together.

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Changing What You Listen to Could Change Your Life

Posted on 18. Nov, 2009 by Daniel.

I came across this blog post today via Twitter. It so closely mirrored the heart of what I wrote yesterday that I had to give you a taste here. JBMavrich writes of how he spent his daily commute to and from work (read his entire post here):

I turned my sights to music, revisiting albums of my youth. I once again found no life in the secular music that I had so many times before sworn off. I was singing and declaring words of death, or at least nonsense, over and over. I found that this, much like my attempt at listening to the news, was bleeding me slowly.

I know this feeling. Life is passing you by and you’re not making as much progress or growing as much as you think you should. Your mind feels murky and “full”. You wish you had more faith, but you are overwhelmed and engulfed by whatever Media you are tuned into.

But something miraculous happens when we carve out emotional and mental space for the Lord. Our minds are quieted and calm. We have far fewer sparkly, shiny, barking advertising things floating around in our minds, looking for a place to settle. There is room for the Lord to speak, and room to listen.

In short, changing what I fed my spirit has shown dramatic and swift results. My prayer life has increased; my intimacy with the Lord has grown; my revelation and discernment have developed; my heart has tenderized. I have even increased in visions and dreams. I say this not in pride, but to encourage you that these results are only the beginning and possible for us all.

And that’s point of all of this, after all. Intimacy with the Father. Experiencing His love and acceptance. Finding the capacity to believe His Word.

*A special shout out to @jbmavrich for writing and tweeting this encouraging post.

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My Life’s Purpose Seems Impossible to Reach – How Do I Get There?

Posted on 20. Oct, 2009 by danielthepoet.

It’s important to know your purpose in life. In fact, I would venture to say there are only a couple things more important. I’m a thinker. Some would say an overthinker. But I consider ideas and questions from many angles. Nine times out of ten, I’m not satisfied with the status quo answer. I see gaps. I see flaws. I see possibilities.

“They” say that we each attract like-minded people. If that’s true (and I think it is), then I hope some of you are really out there. At the very least, I hope I make a profound difference in one person’s life other than my own by writing in this blog.

I’m going to tell you how I am reaching my purpose. You ready for it? Here goes:

One small choice at a time.

Wait! Don’t leave! I know you’d like something more profound sounding, but this is the truth and if you get ahold of this truth, you will be on the path.

Here’s the deal:

At 17, I was a depressed, anti-social smoker with no hope for a future. I literally told people that I hoped to die at age 25 so I wouldn’t have to bear the lame adult years of being a pathetic domesticated and emasculated male. Just before 19, I cried out to Jesus in my greatest moment of trouble and He delivered me. I was born again, completely clueless about what it meant to live as a believer or as an adult. But my vision began to change.

Within two years, I was deep in depression again. I had no mentors, no one pouring truth into my life and holding me accountable for my thoughts, beliefs, or actions. I was wading through life without a guide, and I couldn’t believe God REALLY loved me enough to help. Everything I did was reactionary. I had no idea what I was aiming at. I had no long-term goals. I had no vision. What’s worse, I had dozens of prophetic words spoken over me that seemed to just bounce off me like BBs.

My point is, I don’t live in that mess anymore. You don’t have to either. I want to encourage you. This is a lifelong process, but I can tell you that my life has grown qualitatively better EVERY SINGLE YEAR. There is no time of my life I would rather be in than right now.

My Goal

It’s a burden on my heart to impart some of my story to you because I’ve had so many friends who are still drifting along without a sense of purpose or destiny. I listened to their aspirations and dreams back when we were 16, 18, 21. But some of those friends got stuck along the way and haven’t made much progress towards the life that God intended, and that will ultimately fulfill them the most while they walk this earth.

That is my heart. If you are discouraged, or have lost your way, I want to encourage you by the Spirit of God. So I will be writing some of my story in the coming days to share with you what I have done to overcome some MAJOR hurdles in my life.

I want to know you. I want to bless you. Spend five minutes with me. You’ll see how human I am. But we’re all JUST human. That’s it. There are no superheroes. There are no elevated people, like super apostles of the faith.

I want to bless you, and I hope you’ll share some feedback with me. Remember, comments are currency in the blogosphere. If you want to thank someone for writing content that matters, write a comment on one of their posts and tell them. Ask questions. Give alternative opinions. BLOGS ARE SUPPOSED TO START CONVERSATIONS.

With that said, I hope you’ll come back and visit and talk to me about YOUR story.

Stay tuned for more of my story.

As always, you can contact me privately here.

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What Do YOU Want to Be When You Grow Up

Posted on 29. Aug, 2009 by danielthepoet.

“Danny, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?”

That question always puzzled me as a boy. What do I want to be? How the heck should I know? I have to BE something? What for? Why didn’t I get that memo? And am I REALLY going to grow up and be an adult like you?

People’s expressions taught me that it wasn’t okay to not have an answer to this most important question. I, of course, did NOT have an answer, so I made one up. The two answers I used most often were “I want to be a basketball player” or “I want to be a pastor.”

Nice combo, eh? The basketball player part is obvious. Basketball is fun. I was okay at it. I had dreams of being better. People did it for a living and no one asked THEM what else they wanted to be. So that was as good an answer as any. But the pastor thing? I have no idea where that came from. Seriously. I didn’t actually WANT to be a pastor. I didn’t much care for the pastor we had, and he was my only pastoral role model.

So there’s a mystery for you. Why did I say I wanted to be something I didn’t actually want to be? Why not a policeman, fireman, astronaut, doctor, or something “normal”?

You got me. I have no clue. But that’s what I chose.

Here I am. 32 years old. Still asking myself this question. What DO I want to be? What is deepest, truest passion? What is it that would most fulfill me in my life?

If I had to guess, I’d say that the reason I didn’t have any aspirations as a child was because I had never heard of or imagined the purpose God has for me. It’s hard to say you’re going to be a nuclear physicist when you’ve never heard of even an ordinary physicist, right?

Right. And I’d never heard of a prophetic person, or prophecy in any context until much later (and even then, the only context was of end-times prophecy which I don’t worry too much about). So it’s ironic that I chose to tell people I wanted to be a pastor, because that was the only member of the fivefold ministry I’d heard of at that stage in my life.

Sadly, I STILL don’t know what a full-time prophetic ministry looks like. I see John Paul Jackson, but he’s into these international prophetic training schools. That’s great, and much needed, but I don’t want to leave my wife and family every few days to travel the world. I also see Rick Joyner, but I’m honestly not sure what he does. He’s written very popular books, of course, but I guess he sort of runs a church, like a pastor. I’m not into being a pastor. I know that’s not my particular set of giftings or interests.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I have an idea of what church SHOULD be, and it incorporates all members of the fivefold ministry: Apostles, Prophets, Pastors, Evangelists, and Teachers. I’ve never seen a model of this in the real world, but I think it makes perfectly logical sense that the fivefold ministers should be actively working together to train and grow the Body of Christ. What a concept! A pastor, a prophet, an evangelist, and a teacher all working together! Does that ever happen?

Since most churches are built upon a pastor/teacher’s charisma, insight, or gifting, it’s rare to see church leaders share the spotlight or the power. They’ll call it whatever they like, but they’re really running a corporation as the CEO.

Back to my original dilemma. I actually know what I’m called to. But I don’t know what it looks like. And I don’t have the faintest idea how it generates income without being oogly (i.e. creepy and dangerous). I’m ready to make a move. I’m ready for transition. But I don’t yet see what I’d be transitioning into.

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Grief is Complicated

Posted on 30. Jul, 2009 by danielthepoet.

I’m saddened by the way we treat death and grief in our culture. We’re so production oriented that we’ve established generations worth of traditions surrounding how we handle every monumental stage of life: births, birthdays, anniversaries, and deaths.

Example: people freak out if a woman breastfeeds her baby for more than 6-9 months because it’s now a cultural norm to stop by that time. But the sad truth is that babies don’t actually need to stop breastfeeding that early. BUT it’s more convenient for the mother to stop hassling with it and it generates more profit for baby food companies for moms to stop early, so it became encouraged for decades until it became accepted as the norm.

Same with death and grieving. In other cultures, people verbally mourn and wail. They dress in sackcloth and wear dust on their heads to express their deep sorrow. Loss is something we cannot quantify. Grief is an experience that we dare not sweep under the rug because it’s inconvenient to our profit-bearing lives. Contrary to popular belief, work does NOT get you through grief. It merely supresses grief. Any emotions suppressed have consequences. It’s literally like refusing to release pressure that builds on the inside. Without an outlet, we risk our bodies and minds when we bury and ignore our feelings.

Every month now, I hear a news story about how some negative emotion or suppressed issue leads to cancer, migraines, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart strain, and so on. It’s basic logic, but we seem to fight against acknowledging simple truths. The simple truth is this: we as people are designed to need to process emotions in order to maintain health and happiness. Suppressed feelings are pressures and strains that we absorb into our bodies and minds like traumas.

But as the title says, grief is complicated. It’s not something you can process in just one day at a memorial service. It’s not something that won’t affect your focus, your stability, your appetite, and your interest in intimate relationships.

Put in my own words, grief is the process of experiencing loss as something is ripped from my life against my will. There are many phases or emotions that accompany grief. There is injustice, sadness, denial, confusion, anger, pride, and so on. Grief feels overwhelming. It’s one of those experiences that tempts us to retreat within ourselves and hide rather than face the pain without comfort.

I know all this because A) I’m an introspective person and B) I’m grieving right now over the loss of my grandpa. I keep picturing one of my recent conversations with him and then I tell myself that this will never happen again in this life. And the concept is so overwhelming that my mind feels like it’s going to cave in and implode from the pressure of reality.

Thank God for my wife, who senses my grief and comes close to me to offer her non-verbal show of love and support. Her sincere concern is a small comfort to me during this time. One of the greatest gifts we can have is loving support. We will all grieve, but thank God when we don’t have to grieve alone.

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The First Stage Of Loss

Posted on 25. Jul, 2009 by danielthepoet.

First, I feel relief. He feels no more pain. He’s no longer embarrassed by his need for assistance. He is free. He is alive. Just not here. I feel relief, acutely aware of the lack of sorrow or pain in my own soul. But suspecting all the same that my time will come. My time to grieve. To gush. To weep. Not from anger, regret, or the sense of injustice. But from the inescapable permanence that is separation from him. As long as I live, I will never see him again. Never hear his voice.

And later, perhaps an hour, it comes. The immutable laws of God flex their hallowed muscles upon my consciousness. I bow to the weight of that which cannot be changed. I feel the invisible storm cloud of tears welling up on the inside before they have manifested. The pressure. The moment of explosion when release comes and my body sighs in relief as my shoulders heave and sag to the rhythm of my sobs.

This sorrow is both a hurt and a joy, in ways that aren’t immediately obvious. The hurt is from the sudden awareness of his absence. The joy from the sudden experience of something I cannot manipulate or control. I feel the confirmation of that belief that children appreciate boundaries. I have just encountered a boundary I cannot surmount, and there is a pleasure and a relief accompanying this realization. Life is really real. Death is really real. It’s not an option. It’s not a suggestion.

Through it all, there is still a peace that rests on me as I start to grieve. I know he knew Jesus. I know he is fine. I am spared the grief that comes when one’s destination is uncertain or hopeless. And even as we honor a life fully lived, we look forward in the same breath to new life and new generations to come.

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A Proverb on Self-Promotion

Posted on 24. Jul, 2009 by Daniel.

This is the age of self-promotion. Blogs, Twitter, LinkedIn, communities, conferences. All for the sake of promoting one’s expertise. A trend I’ve noticed is the super popular blogger / tweeter with thousands of readers and followers, yet they can’t afford a car or a home.

Their level of influence is inflated beyond their success. Some of us prefer popularity and fame that we pursue it to the detriment of other areas of our lives. Proverbs addresses this very issue.

Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant
than pretend to be somebody and have no food.

I know some people who have become financially successful without much self-promotion. They’re not demanding anyone pay attention to hear them speak or read their blog. They just work hard, deliver top quality results, and let others recommend them based on the quality of their work.

In essence, we’ve squandered our time and efforts if we’ve become “somebody” in the eyes of the public and our fame is built on a flimsy foundation. Talking the talk can float some of us by for years… maybe a lifetime. But there is more to life than fame.

In all fairness, I think I should point out that some people chose self-promotion via blogs, forums, conferences, and such because they are not cold calling salespeople. Some of us feel comfortable selling our services to prospects only after they’ve decided we are authorities in our industry.

Though it’s easy to judge, I actively choose not to because I can’t discern who is involved in passive selling and who is only interested in becoming famous. The best we can do is to ask the Holy Spirit to examine ourselves and show us where He’d like to bring truth and transformation.

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Pursuing What God Made Me For

Posted on 19. Jul, 2009 by Daniel Dessinger.

If it seems like I own too many websites, it’s because I do. If it seems like I don’t update them often enough, it’s because I don’t. This site isn’t really a blog. It’s more of a home base, from which you can venture out into the world to see what I’m up to.

If you look to the right and the left, you’ll see links to websites I either own or contribute to. Feel free to catch up on the latest articles or delve deep into the archives. For now, this site will remain largely untouched, because it is the hub from which all the spokes point, and, well, because I haven’t decided what to do with it yet.

I have found that in life, it’s not a question of whether I have an option. It’s a question of which option to choose.

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